I will sit in silence to try on clothes to see if they are the right fit. Even made a phone call to god and discussed it.
I am NOT a step-skipper!!! The reflection I was given was that my tears were a cry for attention. For instance, if step 2 is surrender and acceptance around this present physical reality, I must feel what there is to feel (step 1) before arriving there. I know myself well enough to know that I cannot get to step 2 without walking through step 1. Those tears were the grief of feeling into the reality of knowing there is a real obstacle between where I am now and the manifestation of the dream I wrote down about the healthy body I wish to have, as I am about to embark on another surgery. I was asked the question "What is in the way of your dream?" And I began to cry. Recently, I believe that my tears were deeply misunderstood. My grandfather left his body 21 years ago, and I am so much like my him, it is disarming. That, as he was speaking, his eyes were welling up with tears, his heart was swelling with emotion and he needed to blow his nose.įor me, this was how my grandfather loved. As soon as he would say, "Just a minute, just a minute." I knew that what he was actually doing was that he was reaching for his handkerchief.
When I was only 20, I lived overseas and he used to send me cassette tapes in the form of letters. I knew him better than anyone else on the planet. It would be a catalog of film history which would make ANYONE cry!!!
My beloved asked me what are my favorite moments on film.įor me they are always moments of connection and they are also moments of transformation. my my my! It seems to me that I cry when I do not want to let go and I cry when I finally do. I have been thinking a lot about my tears.
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